Don't Panic!

May 25th is Towel Day! Are you prepared? Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? And if you don't, shame on you!

Douglas Adams, the beloved author of the hugely successful The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, gave the universe the two most important pieces of advice for any traveler: 1. Don't panic and 2. Always have your towel handy. If you love travel as much as I do, then you understand the value of a handy towel. It will not only dry you off, it makes a handy wrap, a picnic blanket, a pillow, a seat holder... make up your own towel use.

I've kept a towel handy since I first read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In my bag, in my car, in my luggage there is always a towel. To my 15 year old mind it seemed logical to keep a towel handy. And unlike the pen knife that was part of my necessary items, airport security and education nazis don't recognize a towel as a deadly weapon. No one is going to confiscate it and really, who steals a towel?

Begun in 2001, by fans to mark the passing of Douglas Adams, Towel Day has swept across the globe. There are plenty of things to do. Want a list of Towel Day activities taking place around the globe? I know you do. Check out http://towelday.org/

Take in a Vogon poetry slam. None in your area? Try writing some. Trust me, this isn't difficult. You can donate some towels to homeless shelters and next year organize your own drive. And if you live in the out-and-beyond (as do I) with no one willing to listen to poetry, least of all the Vogon variety and if none of your neighbors recognize the importance of 42, then take a towel to work and see if anyone in the office asks you why. For the love of Zaphod Beeblebrox, don't miss the opportunity to convince someone of the importance of that towel.

If all of this seems strange and confusing, remember Don't Panic! Pick up one of the funniest novels you'll ever read, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for years of enjoyment.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Iron Man 2 is Kid and Adult Approved-- Sorta

It was Iron Man 2 day in my little corner of the world. It was celebrated like an important holiday. Everyone had to wear Iron Man shirts and if you were small enough, shoes, masks and other related gear. My nephew didn't let anyone forget. He called every number he knew and he knows a lot. "Guess what Friday is? Iron Man 2 Day!" His older cousins were all as excited as he was. So, with Bill's prodding, the siblings and I decided that the perfect thing to do for mother's day was take Mom (and the rest of us) to see the much anticipated movie. Just to point out how terrible we are as children, Mom's invitation was an afterthought, but she was thrilled to go. Not that she'd ever admit it, but she's as big a sci-fi dork as we are.

So the 13 of us, pile into our local theater, separating all the nephews with adults, settle in with drinks and popcorn, expecting the equal to Iron Man. Um, we're still waiting.

There were enough explosions to keep the restlessness to a minimum, but OMG I felt like I was stuck watching Titanic again (Which will never, ever happen. James Cameron should have stopped making movies after T2). Were our expectations too high? Had we built up them up for so long that no matter what was on the screen it just wouldn't be enough? This movie was heavily marketed to kids. The toys, the kids meals, the toys... how did it fare with those critics?

Okay. Which without the toys and the toys it would be a kiss of death.

Iron Man was okay. Whiplash was okay.

The things that confused my nephew were the little things that I thought added to the story. They're also the things that are hard to explain to a kid. "Why did they hurt the bird? Is he the bad guy, cause he likes the bird and the other bad guys hurt the bird. They're not bad guys together?"

"Um, no those bad guys are trying to be more bad than the really, really bad guy but they're just not that bad," I whispered without taking my eyes from the screen.

"They shouldn't hurt his bird. I like birds." The couple behind us giggled.

There was the same confusion with the fight between the Tony and Rhodey. Good guys and bad guys have very specific functions in the mind of a 5 year old.

Non-stop action was what I was expecting, but this movie was heavy on 'relationships.' And while a little on the long, slow, Twilight-y, brooding side it did add dimension to Tony's character's growth.

But the part that will forever stay in my mind was the scene where we actually see Black Widow in black leather. My nephew nearly jumped out of his seat at her first leap into the fray. "Did you see that! She jumped high! I can't do that! Wow!" It was the most exciting part of the entire movie. After the movie he said, "She killed like one hundred bad guys! All by herself! HaHa! He got one, too." The he being Happy and that was cute.

But I do feel for my other brother, who now has 3 sons totally in love with a red-headed bad ass. Hell, I want to be a red-headed bad ass now, too. When Scarlett Johansson was cast as Black Widow, I had serious reservations. She played the character with an icy fire that was pitch perfect.

And one last thing: Rock-on AC/DC! My nephew is gonna get kicked out of kindergarten when he wants to sing "Highway to Hell" while playing Iron Man with his clueless classmates.

Damn you Stan Lee! Damn you and your X-Men!

Search Amazon.com for x-menToday, while trying to tie up some work from home and watching my nephew who has just turned 5, I came to the shocking realizations that I get nothing accomplished while watching him and comic book movies have ruined kids! I have to lay the blame right at the clay feet of a former idol, Stan Lee. To be fair, the blame really belongs to everyone involved in Hollywood who couldn't dream up an original idea with enough LSD to feed my hippie cousin who still thinks it's 1973. But this is my blog and this is America and I don't have to be fair. Damn you Stan Lee! Damn you and your X-Men!

I've set up a second desk in my home office to occupy all the frequent and various-sized people intent on disturbing my peace. It was at this desk that the said nephew was drawing pictures and practicing his words. My nephew loves to draw. He loves comics. He loves me. I'm holding out great hope that he'll become a famous comic book artist and take his forever-29-year-old aunt to all the cons with him (you never grow out of the geek). So when he drew me a picture of how superheroes were 'made' (they're shot down a slide, get put through a spinner and shot with electricity, dropped down another slide into the fire, and come out of the chimney with the smoke), I was amazed. He then went back to draw in his favorite superheroes. There's the Hulk
(his favorite), Iron Man, Captain America, and Superman-- great comic character with fantastic histories. And then he says, "This is Marvel."

I said, "But not Superman, he's DC."

And a look of total blankness fell upon him. "Well," he argued, "in this world they're all Marvel," he replied.

He went back to the desk and with the red marker wrote M-A-R-V-E-L, as if this would make it an indisputable fact. He brought his paper back and said, "See, all superheroes are Marvel."

"But Superman is DC. Batman is DC," I tried to explain while wildly thinking that perhaps I should break bad on his parents for this obvious lapse in education. That's not completely fair. I buy him Scooby-Doo comics, published by DC! How does he miss this?

Because his favorite characters all have huge toy tie-ins. Hulk, Iron Man, Wolverine, and because of the tie-in between Hulk and Iron Man, he's all hot for Captain America (everybody he draws lately gets a shield). He doesn't have to love comics because advertising makes him a fan. He doesn't have to see the movie to know 'Hulk Smash;' he doesn't have to read the comics to want adamantium claws.

If it weren't for the fact that every little kid wants to be 'able to leap tall buildings in a single bound' (he quoted this to me, when I couldn't guess who the last superhero was), DC would be lost to the kindergarten set.

So why am I blaming Stan Lee and not advertising execs? Because, those damn Uncanny X-Men are like a gateway drug. Please excuse me, while I try to convince my nephew that no mater what Batman always wins.